Author: monicainga

This is not a post that I wrote. I am sharing it because it deals with a subject that is important to me – dealing with church hurt. It was first published on the site, faithandfandom.org. I am publishing it because I couldn’t write this any better with any better detail.

It is crucial that those who are actively involved in a church recognize that not everyone was “raised in the church” and have the same church experience. Or, if someone was “raised in the church”, they might not have had the positive transformative experience that a follower of Jesus would want for others. To quote Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan, “Be excellent to each other.”

Please click the link below to read an amazing devotional from Faith & Fandom.

Faith & Fandom

• Dec 29, 2020

https://www.faithandfandom.org/post/ahsoka-tano-and-church-hurt

Journey with Monica is going to live up to its name!  It is my intention to document the paths that my life travels in 2023.  The first path is weight loss with an eye towards better health.  There will be other paths or interests that I will develop or do additional work on this year, but like a great many other people, I am beginning the blog year with an intentional focus on weight loss.  The purpose of the weight loss is to achieve better health in my middle ages than I had in my young adult years.

If only weight loss was as easy as this comic portrays!  But it is harder to lose weight now than it was in my twenties and thirties.  Unfortunately, it is not simply a matter of eating less and exercising more.  Now, it is a little more complicated.

To achieve a healthy height/weight ratio, I started going to a medical practice that offers treatment to lose weight last October. I had tried a popular weight loss plan in November of 2021. It did not prove to be something that I could do long-term. I lost twenty pounds. Then, I hit a weight loss plateau. The promised support and guidance for this plan never materialized. I grew discouraged and tried to do the plan, sort of. Sort of did not give me the results I wanted either.

After a minor health scare this summer, due to a stress diet of sweet, salty, and carbs, I was motivated to get serious about becoming healthier. After hearing about a friend’s success in losing weight under the guidance of the medical practice where she is employed, I called my health insurance company. Then, I scheduled my first appointment.

Getting started was the second big decision. Staying with the plan for three months was the third decision. The first, and most important decision, was to accept that I need help to achieve any goal that I set for myself. There will be more about the willingness to accept help, later.

Merriam-Webster defines the noun, “excuse” as, “an expression of regret for failure to do something.” Unfortunately for me, once I have made one excuse, the feeling of regret fades away into a mild annoyance like a splinter in a finger. Just like a splinter can become painful over time if not properly treated, excuses that are repeated and buld up over time can take on a life of their own, I have made excuses for so long now, that I have to actually say the excuse out loud for me to hear for myself how truly absurd and ridiculous the excuse is.

Today, when I uttered the excuse for not writing, I started laughing. Apparently, I have used up all of the more creative excuses. Today, my excuse for not wanting to write is because it is a Saturday. Seriously?! A day of the week?! That’s how far I have fallen?! I mean, every day is a day of the week! But, sadly, it has worked well in the past. There are many things that I have failed to do beccause it wasn’t a Monday! I guess that Monday is the only day of the week that I can get stuff done. I guess that I am supposed to work one day a rest the other six. Hmmm… seems to me that I have read and heard about that six to one ratio for work and rest somewhere,

Now I remember! It was one of the first stories that I was read as a child. it’s the story of how God created the world. God created the world in six days. On the seventh day, God rested. Why? Was it because that the all powerful all knowing Creator needed a rest? No! The reason for this story of rest being included in the Bible is that we humans need an example of how to live.

God knew that our bodies would not operate well or long without rest. He knew that we would push ourselves to our fullest capscity and still want to keep on working. So, we were shown how to take a break from or day-to-day lives. A lot of the world uses a part of this day to gather together and celebrate all that the Creator is doing in their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Taking part of the day that was designed to give us a break to thank the One who instituted it just makes sense.

Now, I see how my disconnect happened! I had the six to one ratio correct. I just mixed up the activity. I was working when I should have been resting and vice versa. Now, that doesn’t mean that I lazed arunnd and ate chocolate and watched TV for six days. I only did that for a couple of them. I was extremely busy doing stuff. But, it wasn’t the right stuff, or in my case, the write stuff.

As I sit here watching the birds hop, fly, and sing, I am reminded of Luke 12:6. It says that, “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? Yet not one of them has [ever] been forgotten in the presence of God.” It’s true! As I am observing the birds, I don’t see any one of them wringing their wings out of worry and fear of predators. I see animals living and being joyful in their lives. It would be wonderful to have a “bird brain” that simply trusts their Creator. This leads my thoughts to another verse, “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I need to trust God. When I forget to trust, I am thankful that the birds remind me!
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It’s not a surprise to anyone that knows me that I am struggling with grief. I also know several others that are also on their own grief journey. Instead of trying to suppress or turn off my grieving, (which by the way, has worked like 💩), I am leaning into to it and just embracing it as part of my life.

Today, my grief recommendation is to read this book. This book welcomes you into the club that you never wanted to join – the grief club. I know that there’s grief support groups, but if you are not feeling up to going or just don’t feel like sharing thoughts and feelings with strangers, read “Welcome to Grief Club”.

This book has its irreverent moments, but it never mocks your feelings, because they are YOUR feelings. It’s also a nice sanity check. Here’s a hint, you’re not crazy, you’re grieving. It’s an easy read and has pictures, which helps lighten the mood, but it doesn’t discount your grief or wrap it up in a package with a bow.

If you are having a tough day, take an hour and read this book. Your situation won’t change. But, after reading it, you will feel like you’ve talked with a friend that knows exactly what to say.

Post 0003 – Voltaire said, “The best is the enemy of good.” This is proven true in my life. For me, it looks like perfection is the opposite of done. In short, I have a difficult time completing projects. Somewhere along the way I find myself bogged down trying to do the job perfectly. Whether delivering on a perfect timeline, or waiting until all conditions are perfect before I start a project. I let my desire for doing something the perfect way keep me from performing at all. Pursuing perfect not only keeps me from starting, it also keeps me from completing a project.

In my pursuit of perfection, I get bored, Rarely do I have the satisfaction of a job well done, because the job is never finished. I will start blogs, but “stuff” happens to disrupt my plan. Then, I don’t stick to the plan and just stop. I stop everything – writing, creating, and producing, I stop contributing to the world. My voice is silenced, because of the perceived need to do something “perfectly”. This stops now! I am going to live and work by Nike. I am going to “Just do it.”

Post 0002 – My next post today is about Jake. He’s an elderly part whippet part Jack Russell terrier. He is my loyal guardian and protector. Since we got the news that my father’s life on earth was coming to an end and while I’m recovering from surgery, Jake has been keeping close to me. It’s like he knows that I’m hurting physically and emotionally.

Last week I noticed that Jake seemed a little “off“. I made a vet appointment for this morning. The vet told us that Jake had a severe ear infection in his right ear. I am glad that it’s not more serious. I have the feeling that Jake’s companionship is going to aid in my physical as well as emotional healing.

Post 0001 – Have you ever done anything 7000 times? Have I ever done anything 7000 times? I did the math and if I did something 20 times a day every day for one year, I would have done that thing 7000 times. I have probably told my kids I love them 7000 times. I have definitely told my husband and my parents that I love them 7000 times. And, I have probably prepared 7000 meals. Now, I want to create 7000 original pieces of content. Over the course of the next few years it is my goal to create those 7000 pieces. Creating 20 pieces in one day seems daunting. I’m not giving myself a deadline of one year, but instead a more forgiving timeline of four years. I have started and stalled out not finishing what I start. This time is different. I am not waiting for perfect conditions of circumstances to create. Today, my eyes have been giving me problems, which means that I am unable to see to write anything down. What you are reading has been dictated to the voice recorder on my phone. I’ve also include add a selfie taken without me wearing any corrective eyewear.

I know I have it in me to be stubborn and persistent. I haven’t applied this to myself and my creative work. Instead I used it on my husband and my children. I know they will be glad of me taking a break from focusing on them and finally focusing on myself. Here’s to 6999 more posts!#the7000posts #monicatb

This past week has been one of the most anxiety-ridden that I have experienced. You see, for a portion of each day, I have surrendered control as I have let my student driver chauffeur me. I have been uptight and tense about the whole thing. I am terrified that my son will get into a wreck with me in the car.

In an effort to draw on the wisdom of the ages, I thought back thirty-three years ago when my grandfather taught me how to drive. He wasn’t uptight about it like I am. Or, if he was, he didn’t show it. He kept his voice calm and even as he talked me through the steps of parallel parking, changing lanes, and avoiding jackrabbit starts. I really miss him, especially now.

If he were here, I would ask him how he did it. How could he remain calm and collected with a teenager behind the wheel? I imagine him saying something like he was calm on the outside, but nervous on the inside. The key is to not show any fear, so that the student driver won’t be nervous.

Years later, after I had married and had four children, I drove my kids and myself down to see him. Rather than being thrilled at the surprise visit, my grandfather was upset that I had put my kids and myself on the road for a one hour each way trip. I asked him why he didn’t trust me and my driving. His answer is one that has stayed with me for many years. My grandfather stated, with that same calm matter-of-a-fact manner that he used when he instructed me years before, “I trust you. It’s the other drivers I don’t trust.”

With these words echoing in my head, I am setting out to teach the next generation how to navigate the roads. I think that I will have to add another quote to that one, in order to help ease my tension. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) Using God’s strength, I know that my fears related to my son’s driving will fade. Eventually, I may be able to keep from pressing that imaginary brake, that every parent of a student driver discovers on the passenger floorboard.

What in the world is #findingdisneyathome?  It’s a hashtag that I have created.  I love to travel.  My favorite getaway destination is Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.  I enjoy almost everything about the four amusement parks and the resorts it contains.  The employees (aka “cast members”) are friendly, helpful, and they genuinely care that you have the best customer experience you have ever had.  The parks are beautifully landscaped with bright vivid colors, have some of the best thrill rides, fantastic live entertainment, and you get to meet live versions of your favorite animated characters.  The on-property hotels, or resorts, have the same great landscaping as the parks, comfortable beds, and wonderful swimming pools, plus excellent customer service from the cast members.

There are only two things that I don’t like about Walt Disney World is its location and its price. Walt Disney World is about a six and a half hour drive from my house, eight hours if you count rest stops.  This means that I cannot go to this wonderful place as often as I would like.  Also, there is the cost. Because I live almost a day’s drive away, in addition to admission to the parks, I need to plan and budget for a hotel stay, preferably on the Disney property, transportation costs – gas and possibly maintenance on the car, and food.  As Mr. Gold from the ABC TV series “Once Upon a Time” says, “All magic comes with a price.”  There is definitely a price attached to the magic of a Disney vacation.

With these limitations, I cannot go to Disney as often as I would like.  (Please don’t ask how much that is.  My true answer might come as a shock.)  After a period of time (Again, don’t ask.) between trips, the Disney blues start to dampen my disposition.

In order to combat this, I have started looking for hints of Disney in my everyday life.  Finding elements of Disney, whether it be a restaurant, a special food item, or even a piece of architecture that reminds me of Disney.  Doing this brings back memories of fun times shared with my family.  #findingdisneyathome is a mindset of finding Disney in the everyday.  Ultimately, #findingdisneyathome is about being content and appreciating what you can do instead of focusing on what you can’t.